Tuesday, October 25, 2005

What's Wrong with Education? Stupidity!!!


Far Side cartoon: some idiot with schoolbooks is pulling on a door that has "PUSH" written on it in large letters. Above the door is written: "School for the Gifted".
Think that's funny? I don't, not anymore. Not after teaching at a community college for 20 years. Guess what - at least the kid in the cartoon above is trying to get to class!
What's wrong with education in public community colleges? Where I live (I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I believe that in communities with like socio-economic make-ups my experience will be true of them also) the students have no business being in college. None.
Should they be getting an education?
Sure.
JUST DON'T CALL IT COLLEGE. AND DEFINITELY DO NOT GIVE THEM COLLEGE LEVEL CREDITS TOWARD A DEGREE.
Why not?
Because when they get into the workforce - and some of them will, despite a total lack of social skills, knowledge of how to dress, present themselves, speak standard English, and complete lack of ability to restrain themselves from burping loudly , clipping their nails in public, and giggling at their own farts - they are going to be working for You.
Only they won't really be working.
They will be cutting corners.
Trying to get by.
Trying to look busy.
Trying to look as though they understand when someone tells them what medicine to give you, how much change to give you, how much to charge, how long to keep that in the oven, in the processor, in the sterilizer, in the mold, how the letter needs to be mailed on time, they need to be at work on time....
Get the picture? Ugly, isn't it?
Why is it so ugly?
Because the mass of these students are STUPID. Yes, stupid. Now I don't mean ignorant; education is meant to fix that. Education cannot fix stupid.
If you have an IQ of 85 on any standardized IQ test (and please don't write and tell me about Einstein) YOU DO NOT BELONG IN COLLEGE - EVEN IN A COMMUNITY COLLEGE. (No, 90 won't cut it, and neither, really will 100).
I'm sure that you can lead a productive life.
I'm sure that you can be happy.
But the college degree that you get, if you manage to get through will be worth NOTHING.
Sadly, you will never understand this because you are so stupid that you think the paper is the real goal.
And that's one of the reasons I don't teach anymore. Just one. Unfortunately, there are more.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Damn That Telephone



Okay, I hate, I mean I HATE, telephones. I guess they're okay for emergencies or for when I want to talk to my only child abroad, but otherwise, they are shit. How many phone calls do you get that you actually want? Sorry, but my time is too valuable to tolerate your boring crap while making faces at myself in the mirrour, so I don't do it anymore. I have caller id and screen those calls - talk about the best invention in communication since the phone! If you really need something, leave me a message. Which brings me to my real sore point.
UNLISTED PHONE NUMBERS. Okay, if you think that you are so fucking important that your phone number cannot be listed or known to others or seen by me before I pick up my very own phone - then I don't want to talk to you. Would I open the front door to a person who had on a paper bag with holes cut in it and baggy black unisex clothes? NO, I would call the police. So if you want to talk to me you'd just better call me on someone's listed phone, and you'd better hope that it's someone I want to talk to when I look at the caller id.