I am a baby boomer, born in 1951, a child of the 'sixties who wanted to be a hippie in a Cadillac, and who loved the night life of the '70's. (I still love nightlife; I just can't find anyone around my age group who'll dance with me - and I don't mean the waltz or that '50's stuff that older people do).
I'm going to be 56 next month, (I took the picture above about 5 minutes ago - I don't think it's to bad for 55) but I'm still about 28 years old in my head (and I mean that in a good I-like-to-have-fun-way) which makes me younger than my son - who is the point of this entry.
We met my son and daughter-in-law in Philadelphia this last weekend, and at one point before they were about to leave to go back to D.C., my son interrupted my love affair with a nice Pinot Grigio to say, "Mom, promise me that you'll exercise."
Uh, oh.
I've always wanted to be the best mother ever because my own was so rotten, and because I understand and always understood that children were the most important thing. I read, used common sense when I could and attempted to be the most rational person in the world where my son was concerned.
My own behavior was affected profoundly. Anytime I wasn't sure about an something, I would always ask myself, "Would I think it was okay if my son did this at my age?"
I t was the best moral code ever for someone who believed that children are precious - even when they're grown.
My son is a good person with an equally good and lovely wife. He is moral, hard-working, intelligent, interesting, fun to be with. I care more about his good opinion than anyone's I know.
I got him through a good private college, helped him through graduate school (another private college), gave him moral support, hid my anxiety from him when it would have been selfish of me to have shared it, and tried to be available and helpful whenever he needed me.
I'm glad to say I'm not finished.
I have something else to do.
My son pointed out that the people he worked with who were my age and a bit younger were happy or miserable he thought depending on the health and activity level of their aging parents. The ones who had parents who did not exercise, take care of themselves (he was not talking about health crises people cannot help), eat well, enjoy life were wallowing in worry and misery. The other offspring were enjoying life as were their parents presumably.
I can do something else for my son that I wouldn't do as well for myself. I can take care of myself.
I've already begun.
We often travel together in foreign countries; I don't want to miss that. I want to climb where he climbs, do (within reason) what he does. After all, he got a big part of that sense of adventure from me.
And you do not know how happy it makes me that I can help him with this one thing that will benefit all of us.
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7 comments:
Nice blog. I relate to it cause I'm 28 too. I've been 28 longer than you. I also notice your photo at the Taj. I'm in Bangalore right now. It's hot.
You like Leonard Cohen, I see. I dated a woman from Montreal who used to hang out at the same cafes as Cohen in Montreal. She tells me one time she was leaving a cafe at the end of the evening when Cohen walked over to her and asked: "Have I ever slept with you?" She answered, "I forget." Squelch!!!!!!
Oh, but what a perfect reply!!
I've also been to Bangalore - very nice there.
Cluny
Just love your picture. You look more like 35 than 55.
I agree with your son, exercise is a great way to keep in shape and really enjoy life.
I have seen many young married couples go from active pre-mariage to married over weight. If you really want to enjoy live you have to keep in the game and keep fit.
great post! I don't think people appreciate what's going on in our heads. I stopped at 26 by the way.
Hi Cluny,
You look great, but you always did. I have thought of you often lately, so I looked for a way to communicate. My son is eight now, and I love him more than anything just as you do yours. I am trying to be a very positive influence on him just as you have been on your son. I am working on a Ph.D now. amd the reading and writing are really fun for me. The degree is in heritage studies, and I hope to do a lot of writing later too. It sounds like you are having a great life, and I would love to look at some of your jewelry someday. I just turned 50, by the way, and some pretty crazy things are happening in my life. I have enjoyed reading your writing. Maybe I will see you somewhere sometime.
Sincerely,
Deanita
Too bad you never met my dad. He is part of the baby boomer generation and will be 60 in August. He loves to dance and he said pretty much the same thing about nobody his age wanting to dance. I always laughed at him because he often said that people his age acted like they had one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.
You are lovely! I'm currently dealing with health issues right now because I neglected exercise...it had been a regular part of my life and I kind of let it go, now paying the price. So, your son is right and cares about your well-being!
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